Something's Fishy
by Hawki
Summary: Oneshot: With Castellia having signed up to the New Systems Commonwealth, there was only one way for the crew of the 'Andromeda' to celebrate - eat fish and chips.


**Something's Fishy**

"You think it's right to be eating fish and chips so soon after Castellia?"

"Eh, come on Beka, what the Castellians don't know won't hurt 'em."

"Yeah, guess you're right."

Fish and chips. It was a meal that originated from Earth, though it was on Big Apple Drift that Harper had first enjoyed the delicacy. That, and he doubted that his ancestors had eaten malgar, considering that said species of fish originated from a world in Triangulum. But it had been a good dish. So after securing a Commonwealth signatory, he supposed that getting fish and chips delivered to the ship from Wanaka Drift was a treat that he'd earned.

"God this is terrible."

He looked at Beka, lounging in the pilot's chair. Clearly unable to appreciate the finer things in life.

"I mean, people ate this?" she asked.

"Eat, Beka, people still eat this," Harper said, putting in another lot of chips, letting the salt and grease dance around in his throat before entering his stomach. "It's ancient Earth cuisine. Something to be appreciated."

"Great," said the pilot, putting the plastic dish to one side and gesturing for one of the androids to pick it up. "Another reason never to go there."

Harper winced. Another reason to never go to Earth. So far he'd been unable to come up with a single good reason for Dylan to help the planet bar Earth being humanity's homeworld, and with humanity spread across three galaxies, that fact was an academic one for a lot of people. Digging into the fish, he wondered when would be the right time to broach the topic. Not now, he reflected. There was no reason for Dylan to stir the wrath of the Neitzscheans any sooner than he had to. Wait too long however, such as after getting fifty worlds into this intended new Commonwealth, and chances were that Earth would be left at the wayside. Forgotten, and unmourned.

"So, tell me," Beka said, popping open a can of Fizzwhar. "You think this'll go anywhere?"

_Go anywhere? Is she coming on to me?_

"This Commonwealth thing," she said, as if reading his mind. "I mean, we've got Xinti and Castellia signed up. So that's two more worlds than I thought we'd get."

"Eh, you wanna know what I know?" Harper asked. He put his fish and chips to one side. He'd had enough of it.

"I dunno Harper, what do you know?"

"Well, what I know is-"

"Not interrupting anything am I?"

Harper sprung to attention, a nasty habit he'd picked up from being in the company of a frickin' High Guard officer, a Neitszschean who could break his neck with his pinkie, and an android/avatar/AI program that looked so good in uniform he's adjusted his fantasies of taking her out of it. Luckily, Rev Bem was none of those people.

"Hey Rev," Beka said. "We're, er, just chilling."

"On the bridge, no less," the magog continued, shuffling from the entrance. "Despite the presence of numerous mess halls and personal quarters."

"Way I see it, if Rommie objected, she'd have done so by now," Harper said.

"**I do object," **came a voice.

"See? No objections," Harper laughed, glancing at the androids before returning his gaze to Rev. "Want a chip?"

"No, thank you," said the priest awkwardly. "I, er, have yet to feed."

Harper remained silent, exchanging an uneasy glance with Beka. Rev Bem, the person, wasn't an issue. Rev Bem, the magog, potentially was. Small potential, but potential nonetheless. That he had to kill to activate his digestive tract was one of them.

"Ah, fish," said the priest. "What kind, may I ask?"

"Malgar," answered Beka. "Trust me Rev, stick to salmon. You're not missing out on much."

"Oh, but I am," the magog laughed. "I would be happy to eat food without having to end its life first."

"Yeah, well, this fish was once alive too," Harper said. "I wouldn't feel too bad."

An uneasy silence lingered between the three crew members, one that made Harper wish Trance would show up. It was like a holy trinity, only with four people – Rev was a friend, but he had a way of making you uncomfortable, even if he didn't say anything. Here they were, eating fish on the bridge, in sight of the _Andromeda_'s AI, despite the work they'd have to do to keep the girl afloat. And Rev coming onboard at all was enough to make Harper feel guilty despite, as far as I was concerned, having no reason to feel guilty at all.

"Aren't the Castellians aquatic?" Rev asked. "I hear they have signed Dylan's charter."

_Oh you would go there wouldn't you?_

"Yeah, they are," Beka said, grinning at Harper with a gaze that said _I told you so. _"But hey, what they don't know won't hurt them, am I right?"

"Perhaps. And even if they do, it won't hurt them either." Rev smiled. "But I have spoken long, and hunger." The smile became a grin, and the teeth shown doubled. "I must have dinner of my own now."

And he headed off, the androids at the door parting way for him with no words spoken. Harper glanced at Beka, but only spoke after the door had hissed shut.

"Y'know what?" he asked. "We need him here more. Scare every world into signing up with the threat of a magog Wayist."

"How's that a threat?"

"I dunno, it just is," Harper said. He picked up another chip, letting it dangle in front of him. "Well, this was nice. It-"

"Fish and chips? I love fish and chips!"

Harper smiled weakly as Trance turned up.

Dinner was becoming far more eventful than he'd planned for.


End file.
